As some of you already know, I'll be raving it up, Hengoed styleee in my auntie's free house tomorrow. I've asked everyone to try, if they can, to dress up as 'someone at least one person has compared you to'. I've decieded not to go as Boris Johnston (apparently I used to have the whole 'Boris Haircut'), but that would have been epic. Maybe some other time? For those of you unaquainted with the Bozzinator, here is a picture...He's the mayor of London, don't cha know...

(8)He's bringing sexy back, YEAH, all those other MPs don't know how to act, YEAH

It looks like its going to be an alchohol only night aswell, which is a pity, but we can manage. We can manage, right?
This is ridiculous, of course we can manage. I got frigging brownies.

Both my mum and my grandfather recieved letters from my estranged (or maybe just strange) auntie Pauline. It's the whole traditional family feud yadda yadda yadda...I'm confused myself but I'm pretty sure it was something like Pauline was unhappy with someone my mum might have been dating and then it went a bit too far. Either way, the last time we saw them, it was at my grandmother's funeral. They turned up late. Yeah. Classy.

Its the usual letter. 'I miss you, but you hate me. Oh noes mah life suckz!'. What I found quite funny was that the first thing she asked about my cousin was 'Has he got a significant other?'. For fucks sake, leave him alone! Everyone in the family knows that girlfriends do not really play a big part in Andrew's life. He's had a few, but nothing serious really. He's not the type of bloke to go out everynight, hoping to meet 'The One'. He likes going out with mates, doing geeky stuff with guitars and games, and not worrying about girls. Why do people feel the need to almost point out 'Oooo they aren't paired off yet! Come on now, you aren't getting any younger!'? It's rude and obnoxious.
I saw Pauline a couple of years before the funeral. I must have been around...twelve, maybe eleven? Then the first thing she asked me was 'Have you got a boyfriend?'. I hadn't even kissed a boy then, it made me feel like shite. As if having a boyfriend actually matters.

Meh. I'm very very grumpy.
My grandfather has got on my nerves once already and I've only been up ten minutes.
Ganga: Anything nice in the Hotel Chocolat catologue?
Me: It all looks nice to be honest!
Ganga: It's no good for you, you know luv...

YES I AM PERFECTLY FUCKING AWARE THAT CHOCOLATE IS NOT GOOD FOR ME! HENCE WHY I HAVE CUT A LOT OF IT OUT OF MY DIET! NURRRRRRRR! WHAT KIND OF IDIOT WOULD I BE IF I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD FOR ME? PLUS, YOU ARE BLOODY DIABETIC, YET EVERY MEAL YOU EAT IS FRIED, JUNK, STODGEY CRAP! SO NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO WHINE TO ME ABOUT CHOCOLATE, THINK OF THE FRIED BREAD, BACON, CHEESE, FRIED ONION PILE YOU HAD THIS MORNING FOR BREAKFAST!

I know, I'm over-reacting. Thats what happens when you live in a family where the women are miserable and the men are insane.

Awww! Despite being a natural fuck up with extra long knees, webbed feet and a brain thats wired up wrong, my body does work sometimes. I knew I was eatting more and was getting a bit worried about weight and that, but its all because of woman stuffs. TMI I know, but its just nice to feel that nature works sometimes.

I like flirting on MSN to mildly attractive people. I find it fun. Its all not touchy either, so it doesn't matter if you don't really like them. Obviously I don't do naughty things because I'm not naughty (enough) but yeah, a bit of flirting never hurt anyone. Also, is it wrong to be strangely delighted that you can 'pull' in your slacks and with no pants on, just so long as your face looks okay on webcam?

'Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania...'
:)

Today, in R.S, me and Damion had to draw the Perfect Bed. Ours had a waterslide and a city underneath it that was being ravaged by a giant cat and a duck filled with drugs and a train network and a pond and a moose with a flame thrower. It was bitchin'. Another group had to draw the Perfect Man...apparently the Perfect Man is a rugby player.
I also had English today...which was uneventful. I learnt the art of twisting whatever information to make it say exactly what I want it to. I'm sure I will go far with skillz like that.

I am looking forward to Christmas this year :) I think its possibly because this is the first year in a long while that I've actually asked for presents, rather than just money.

This weekend, I am going to Cardiff with the mother for handing out CVs time. I don't know weather its just my group of friends but it feels that everyone who I think 'yeah they'll be a good worker!' gets a job and those who fail, well...you can sort of tell why.
And next weekend...

MY AUNTIE HAS ANOTHER FREE HOUSE!
last time was epic win, so I hope this time will be even better. I am planning on making space cakes down there. Or space cookies? Space chocolate chip cookies? Is that yum or dumb?

• Sometimes, I don't like talking about it. Sometimes I don't find it helpful, just succeeds in making me more miserable. Its not an insult to the person on the recieving end. I kinda hoped that everyone close to me would know this by now...Apparently not.
• I go on my mother's facebook account because I think middle aged people's status updates are really funny. And I like swiping her restaurant city ingrediants.
• I got fucking robbed by Tescos. They tricked me into buying this spanish version of Inglorious Bastards...I didn't even know there was a spanish version. It looks pretty old as well. CAPITALIST BASTARDS!
• I chucked pennies at Damion because he said that woman had 'so many rights it was becoming anti-man'. AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH!
• I have a mental fetish for stationary. Last time I went in Paperchase...bad things happened. I nearly had some sort of nervous breakdown because I was scared of picking 'THE WRONG NOTEBOOK', even though I didnt even need a notebook at all, so in solution I ran out of the shop with nothing. I should be showing the shop to my mum on Saturday...its a good job I don't work there actually, I'd be terrible.
• FRIDAY TOMORROW!

Scribblenauts of DS - have you seen this game?! You can make anything happen, I just like it because it would enable me to enjoy my jam vs ham fantasies...

GHDs - because my straighteners are shit.

A beautiful Grecian dress from Lipsy - because...I...like...clothes...

It makes a change really, most years I just ask for money.

School tomorrow, do not want.

Mum came home from the gym nearly in tears today. She told me she didn't really know if she should tell me or not, but I told her that she should because I'd rather her tell me, and upset me, than her to have no one to talk to. She said that she had tried to have a word with Bill recently about his erratic mood swings...how everytime I get upset, about anything, he flies into a pout and doesn't talk to anyone for a few days. She tried to tell him how she thought maybe it was to do with how much gin he drinks (e.g a lot), but he denied that. He refused to talk to her properly, but succeeded in basically telling her its all her fault because she excludes him or some shit. Its not even true. He excludes himself. He complained that he sits in the middle room and doesn't talk to anyone from dinner to bedtime sometimes. Thats his own doing, it used to be Mum asked him everynight to sit with us in the front room, but he always refused. He hurts her a lot to be honest, just being really inconsiderate. He never does any housework or chores for her, and expects her to do everything. And she works longer hours than him. He didn't offer any explaination why he finds my moods aborant, or why he takes to not talking when he's in a mood...but he said he was sorry when Mum told him that on Wednesday she was seriously considering leaving him. He seems to be making an effort now to be extra specially nice, but he's still not doing his share of the chores...

I don't know how to feel. I mean, Bill wasn't there when I was a child so I never bonded with him, even though he is my biological father. At the beginning of their relationship, it made me feel weird. I was used to it being just Mum and me on our own, but then he came around and changed my life completely. I've discussed the fact that Mum didn't do the beginning so well with me...I was about 12 when I met him for the first time, Mum had never had a boyfriend (that I knew about) before hand, and suddenly, they were talking of getting married and moving in together after a very small amount of time. It freaked me out to be honest. I never fully trusted him, seeing as I had been used to thinking of him as some sort of coward who had run away at the sight of a pregnant woman, but it seemed to me that everytime I get close to him, I might have a down day or something, and suddenly he goes into one of his moods and I feel completely rejected. Maybe thats why I'm not sad? Or worried? Mum kept on apologizing, saying she was stupid to have trusted him, she should have known better, considering the way he was when I was a featus. But its not her fault. She is human.

:( I can tell this is going to be a fucking awesome Christmas...

haha real life is LOL worthy.

Question: What did Greig Halliday's perfect Halloween costume?

Answer: Tin Man, because he hasn't got a heart!!

BA-DUM-DUM-TISH!
Its actually true that, he did go as Tin Man. Mega LOLZ!

In other news: I just finished watching Legally Blonde 1 and 2. Its so uplifting, they are the only movies in my DVD collection that will never make your brain ache!

My mum and Bill have gone to see the Alabama 3 for his birthday tonight. So I home alone...with Ganga. Hoooray.
Bored :(

I went to the pub on Friiday after not being in ages. It was quite a nice night, well, the yay out weighs the neighs anyway. I had two doube jack and cokes, two rounds of shots, a vodka and red bull and various sips and nibbles of other people's beverages. I spent all my moneys, which is sad. I stood at the bar for a while just shouting 'HAS ANYONE GOT 60p??' until this nice young man gave me the money. Best friend for life I think. I had a chat with Jack and Joseph, who I haven't spoken to since Primary School so that was lovely. I made up with Aaran because we'd had a bit of an arguement and had a laugh with Newman. I tried a small cigar aswell, which I thought tasted like tea. So not up to scratch, why do people like them? Admittedly it was probably the cheapest cigar known to man, seeing as it costed all of 85p, but still...It wasn't big enough to be gangsta either. The bad parts of the night included Greig just turning up half way through the night. I ignored the wank, but apparently he decieded to insult Luke for shits and giggles.

Greig: Hello Luke
Luke: Alright Greig?
Greig: You've had your hair cut shorter. It looked stupid.
NO WONDER NO BODY LIKES YOU!

Then me and Geraint got hit on (not sure if thats the right phrase for this situation but still...) by this fucking disgusting creep. He threatened to make Geraint suck him off, which, unsurprisingly upset Geraint a lot. Then the same bloke, sat next to me on the table. I didn't know about the previous event so I was nice to him when he asked my name. He asked how old I was, and I was honest because no one gives a shit in the Rowan. 'You make me feel really old! I am 20!!' he said. He then showed me a picture on his phone of his baby girl, who I made a fuss of like you do... Then he kept on going on and on about me going outside with him or going home with him. When telling him, quite nicely, that I already had plans and I didn't want to, didn't work, I just walked away. Later, I relayed the information to a friend. 'Oh yeah, he's just come out of prison...' Oh. '...for attempted murder'. OH FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!! Yeah, yeah I know, he might not have done it...he might have had his reasons...he could have changed...but that shizzle don't matter a dizzle when you are freaked out by him in a pub. AND THEN, after some more asking around and digging, I found out that he used to go out with this aquaintence of mine and when he asked her to marry him, she was TOO SCARED to say no.
I stayed over Geraint's after with Sam. We ate pringles and then fell asleep while watching the Shining. I woke up in the middle of the night just as Jack Nicolson was doing the whole 'HEEEEEEEEEEEEERES JOHNNNY!!!!!!' thing.

Partly inspired by my tremendous lack of money on Friday, I wrote a CV on Saturday and, because there is a new store opening in Cardiff, sent it via the internet to Lipsy. Its not too shabby, considering I have never had a job and I haven't got any A levels yet. I tried to show off things like languages because they show I am good at like talkin good innit and the fact that I am very enthusiastic. And by jove I would be enthusiastic. I need the money. I would like to make new friends on the job aswell, and I like talking to customers and stuff like that. Also, I wouldnt be one of those shop assistants who is snobby and elitist. I'd be lovely to everyone =] I'm also going to give my CV into River Island, Topshop, HMV, H&M, MAC, Debenhams, John Lewis and maybe even Lush. Whats the worst that can happen eh?
 

Urrrrrrrrrrgh, I so want it. I want I want I want. I want to wear it with lace tights and super high ankle boots. I want to get a leather jacket to go with it. I want to define the waist with a massive ass belt. I want, but I don't have one hundred pounds. Fuck socks.
I'll have to nag Bill then...

Bethan wants me to update this everyday. Every single day. Doesn't she know what this will mean? Its not a good idea. See, its the first day, and I already have no idea what to write whatsoever.

Today, I sat around the common drinking a shed load of coffee. I had a massive caffeine rush and started rabbitting on about everything with Ben. Like bacon rolls. And busssiness. 

I feel utterly disgusting.

We have to write a creative story for English. None of my ideas are suitable me thinks.

I am going out on Friday! I am so excited, we have a massive plan see. Me and Sam have to go to Cardiff on Wednesday to get some *ahem* Pussy energy drink. I am not making this up...here, if you don't believe me.

And ya know what? It's really really nice.

At first, www.pussydrinks.com sounds wanky and obnoxious. However, think again. It comes up with a different Oscar Wilde every time you look at the first page. And then it goes onto say...

'Personality

Pussy is spontaneous, entertaining, optimistic and fun. It’s a starting point. A moment when something happens and when things begin – Pussy starts conversations. It believes in having a good time as often as possible. '

Much as I disagree with drinks having a personality, they have a point. It started a lot of conversations on the train home between me, Geraint and Sam and the train conductor. 'Oh my missus would have me if I said I was going out for some Pussy' he giggled. Oh how we laughed.

So yeah.

Say no to drugs, kids.

Damion has lent me Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess on the wii. Its lushness. I love love love Link. But whats with these hoes that he seems to have a thing for? Jeeeez, they iz dull and ting. Yeah, I know Link is practically a mute yadda yadda yadda, but he has a lot going on under the surface ya know...like that whole ace swordsman thing, yeah, I'm digging that.
Jesus Christ and this is why I'm a spinster.

Bethan Murphy lied to us all. She isn't Jewish. Her mum isn't Jewish. She just thought it made her seem more interesting and exotic. I find this quite hilarious but adorable.

I think I am Audrey Horne

Agent Cooper? Anywhere??

I took my windturbine to the tattooist. He said that he would be able to draw it up for me and then I book an appointment.

New irl friend joined livejournal! Hooray! Welcome Sammy McSam Sam. You will always have a special place...in my belleh.

Last night was hilarious. We gotta do that again, fo sho =].
Even if I did wake up still drunk and then made my own phone vanish in thin air. I also found out that my 'things' are my unique ability to come up with random fucking nonsense and my very inferior sense of confidence. Hooray?
 

Still haven't done the Welsh BAC assigment. Fuck socks.
Its due in October, but I kinda want to get it out of the way, so I can focus on the subjects I did actually sign myself up for.
 

• Harry Potter was set in the eighties. Throughout the series of books there are subtle references to it being the good ol' 1980s ('what, does Hermione funk up her robes with a set of shoulder pads?') which means the last bit of the last book, where they are all seeing their kids off to Hogwarts, is set now.
• Portsmouth football team have a mental fan who, whenever they are playing, rings a bell for the entire match. He has also legally changed his name to Portsmouth F.C. What a wank.
• Mario and Sonic At The Olympic Games is fucking awesome, and I should stop pussying about and just go a get it.
• There is a new energy drink out called Pussy. No joke. Apparently, it tastes like Red Bull...like all other energy drinks then. It also has extract of milk lotus or something, I don't know why.
• Andrew has tried a load of drugs. Seriously. E, Acid, Weed, Speed, Ketamin (sp?)...he hasn't tried Heroin though. Or Crystal Meth. Auntie Peppi is pleased.

Well, he is rather vaaaaain. He seems the type to take pictures of himself holding bags he's just bought and then send them to the company hoping they would put him on the interwebs.


 

I love Echo and The Bunnymen. And Laurie Anderson. I think they are what I need to get out of my Of Montreal rut. I'm not planning on going off Kevin Barnes and the gang, but I do start to worry when it seems to be the only thing I am listening to. Nocturnal Me, I find, a very sexy song. But I don't think I should say that. I have a funny feeling I am not supposed to find it sexy. Hmmm...*ponders sexuality, gets confused, feels shame, stops*

Soon, I will be able to sing I Love College and not be lieing...unless I find I hate Ystrad College Of Backward Knowledge. Please don't let that happen :(

 A in Religious Studies, French and ICT(short course)

B in Science, Maths, History and Drama

D IN WELSH!!!!1! FTW!!!!!!!!

I am ill

Flu like symtoms. Possibly with a side order of pork.

In other news...

Big Brother is being cancelled. Not being renewed after 2010. Its a good day to be Grace.
Results day tomorrow. Fucking fuck socks. Do not want. All that jazz.
Greenman was awesome! Found a new band I do like, talked to some people and polished off a bottle of Jack. Loverly jubbly.

Sorry for a short one, I gotta go and snot up a pig.

I had a good night out, but it meant a lot more than just a trip to the cinema with the girls.

We went to see The Ugly Truth.
I don't care if this makes me unreasonable, I don't care if people think I am over reacting, but that film is vile. Vile submission from women to infantile men. Is this really the sort of film other women DIED for? I hate how they justified his misogyny with 'awww, he was broken hearted!' and 'its all okay, because in the end they fall in love!'. The whole film seemed to be saying 'hey ladies! Guess what? You can only feel happy and complete when you got a boyfriend you can fuck! As long as you got SOMEONE it means you aren't disgusting and fat and thats all that really matters, right?'. Personally, the bit that truely made me want to scream is this...

(the man is giving dating tips to the woman, a set of rules to follow to get this other bloke interested)

Man: Laugh at all his jokes
Woman: What if they aren't funny?
Man: Doesn't matter, fake laugh is equal to a fake orgasm. Same as a real one.
Woman: Not for me it isn't!
Man: Yes, but you aren't the only one in the room, don't be selfish.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck me, am I wrong? Am I reading too much into this? Is it all 'just a bit of fun', so am I a party pooper?
Yes the film did poke a bit of fun at men, but it was in no way equal to what they said about women. And its not just that. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Its not just this one film, its the whole fucking system. They can pass this off as lighthearted and a 'comedy' (by the way, I can laugh at things I don't necessarily agree with, but that just wasn't fucking funny), but what about the wider messeges?

Fuck this joint.

Ommmm.

Thats me.

Being good and ting. Which is what I have been all week.

Exercising everyday, eatting healthy fo sho. Yeaaaah bitches.

Today is my day off, seeing as my parents are really not keen to give up on takeaway night. I don't mind. I figured in my mind that actually, if this is going to be a long term healthy plan, I also have to have some fun aswell.

Mum has been away on a course this week. I managed to stick it out in the house for about three days before Bill pissed me off too much and I went to stay with my auntie. It was great, I really enjoyed her company. She took me to Nandos in the Bay and we had nice chats. When I was staying over I found a load of old stuff my cousin has left there, including a Zelda game in a Sim City box (I was confused, but took it anyway) and a book on Rasputin. YAYZ!

My new black dress came today, as did my swimsuit. I love the dress, it will look lush with a black jacket and eye catching shoes, but I am a bit worried about the swimsuit. I'm a bit paranoid about my chest and even though it is really nice, it doesn't give me any place to hide. My auntie suggested that I go to the doctor about my anxieties over my chest, which I think is a good idea. It often reduces me to tears...But to be honest, if the doctor just tries to get me therapy again I am going to decline. That was very very very little help indeed.

I watched Lord of The Rings : Return of The King today...Aargorn looks more and more like Anna in every scene.
Also, I would totally marry Faramier (sp??). He's a babe, and not fucked up by the whole 'OMG my Dad wish I had died instead of my brother and then he tried to burn me alive and then he got set on fire and then he jumped off a bit cliff thingy OH NOES!' and I like that in a person. He's also Lupin from Harry Potter, which is good!

My birthday soonish :).
Maybe my parents will finally give in to the tattoo?